Tayler the Wanderer was right in the middle of his fifth quest when he was stopped by a fleeing villager.

"Help me!" said the villager, "There's a monster in the woods. It destroyed my house, ate my wife and daughter, and worst of all, took my petty bag of twenty gold coins."

"I'll see what I can do!" proclaimed Tayler, "I have my trustworthy hunting kitten and shepherd dog with me!"

Tayler the Wanderer set forth on the side quest. Joined by his trustworthy hunting kitten and shepherd dog, he was going to right those many wrongs that were caused by the mystery monster.

Tayler the Wanderer journeyed for many days.

"Boy, that forest sure is a lot farther away than it looks." said the baffled hero.

"I agree." said the trustworthy sheepdog named Cali, short for Calista Battledorf.

The days were long and dry. The hero and his bumbling helpers were getting very thirsty.

"There is something very wrong with this water!" proclaimed the kitten.

"Oh I don't know, I am only a simple kitten who can speak English." said the simple kitten who could speak English.

"Then why do you act like an expert who knows things about nature and magic's?" asked Tayler.

"I act like an expert because it makes me seem more cute!" said the cute kitten.

"Water smell and taste funny." said the simple Cali.

"We already know that you simple dog." yelled the kitten and Tayler.

"Oh, I just wanted to sound smarty" said Cali.

"We must be careful in this dark forest. There are many evils about and many ways for a wanderer to meet his end." said Tayler.

"Where's the bathroom?" said Cali.

Tayler the Wanderer and the hunting kitten looked at Cali in silence.

"I have to get a drink." said Cali.

Cali then helped herself to a few large gulps of the wretched steam water.

"Very refreshing!" exclaimed Cali.

"Well, I am thirsty" said Cali in between gulps, "The kitten says a lot of things anyway's."

"Let us continue on with the journey." said Tayler, "We must be getting closer to the monster, I have been getting a weird feeling about me that is getting stronger every step."

"I heard a noise originate from that hole, check it out kitten"

"Yes sir!" said the kitten.

"I can't see anything for it is too dark. There is an overpowering smell of squirrel feces though." said the puzzled kitten, "It may be a trap set by the monster, or even an old wizard's magic hole."

"Maybe it is a squirrel toilet" said Cali.

"Who in their right mind would live in such a horrid place? There must be something very wrong with that fleeing villager fellow. Maybe I'll find that bag of gold and keep it for myself. He he he, that's a good idea, too bad I don't have very many of those." thought Tayler the Wanderer.

"I concur." said Cali.

"Wait a second! Where's the kitten?!?" exclaimed Tayler, "KITTEN, KITTEN! Oops, I'm supposed to be very, very quiet, there's a monster about."

"Cali, we must find the kitten. How often do you find one that speaks near perfect English." said Tayler.

"I don't know. I don't know very much." said Cali.

"Here I am sir. I was just out on a constitutional." said the missing kitten.

"How could you just disappear like that. I was very worried about you. We are in a dark forest you know. There are many evils and bad things that could have happened to you."

"Um sir? I don't feel so good, I think that there was something amiss with that stream water, or maybe it was that dead orc carcass that I gnawed on." said the sick Cali.

Barf!!!!!!!!!!

End of Part I
Part II next month!
Tayler the Wanderer, Cali and the kitten do battle with the monster.